whats your inspiration?

i know i shouldnt be here, but let me just do some writing alright.
otherwise, i think i cant take it very soon.

the studying session really does suck cause there is exam to worry about,
otherwise, we wouldnt be studying right?

then again, feeling like a student make it a little better.
but thinking about exam, it sucks overall.

so just today i have this random thought "to be a SOLDIER rather than a STUDENT".
yes totally random, but if studying is equivalent to being a soldier.i will choose the later - to defence my country.

in my secondary school day,
i always told my form teacher - Mr Thong, that when i finish my diploma, i will want to go serve the country cause i think what guy can do, we girls jolly well can do as well.
and if we try harder, we might do better then them :)

no jokes, that was how i felt ever til now.
& he was actually supportive of it, giving me information of army etc.
he suggested that i go try out "foot army", those that walk in war kind rather than sitting in tanker.
is there such?

yes, at the point of time, i was an idiot who never ever know how to google.
so, now if you are interested in army, just go to the homepage and TA-DAAH.
:) it's all there.

if you are interested: go google "mindef"

then sometime, i thought of being a police officer.
i even get sad when i found out years ago that i dont qualified the height requirement which is 158cm from what i remembered :(
*now, you know that i am REALLY not tall.

& guess what? i actually went to apply for this last year when i graduate even knowing my FAILED height requirement AND the mainpoint is they asked me down for interview.
which in the end, i didnt cause i was already offered a job.

thinking back, i do blame myself at time for not standing by my inspiration.

in all, a very fickle minded person.
i still think i am now, like should i or shouldnt i?
at the end of every decision, i will just end i telling myself, "CANNOT REGRET & WORK THING OUT".

just like now and every single time.

ok, i felt so much better and its time for more studying and all.

P.S. please keep your prayer on going for me til 27th may.

XOXO.