affection.

This post is password protected.
*might consider changing my blog into a private one.

i just want a space to write every single thing i am going through,
my feeling and everything else.
which obviously, i dont want people to know.
everyone yearn for a private space, i do as well.

sometime, it make me think that its so easy to know what i am thinking and all, since its all written in my blog.
however, its not necessary an advantage when come to certain thing.

many other reason set me thinking to change it into a private space,
but i am still considering.

afterall, i believe i have silent reader/friends who always visit my blog for my update, which apparently save my time telling them how am i doing and such.
*you know who you guys are, and thanks for the concern & all along the way whenever i am down and needed those :)

it always cheer me up when i received msg/tweet/mails on that tiny concern,
from who regardless, i appreciate it :)

but as of now,
i felt that i should be stronger and not grow to rely on anything.
i wanted to keep all to myself and pick up from where i am.
in the first place, i shouldnt have learn to depend on anyone, thats for the very fact that, i hate being affected for the unneccessary.

this remind me of my old self - where i am a "frequent sms person", which means i message EVERY NOW AND THEN.

we will tend to have the habit to look at our phone to see if the other party reply. then, if the other party didnt reply within the range, it set you thinking and again, look on your handphone every 5 to 10 min.
the cycle keep repeating & you will came to realise its such a moron act.
i classific this as a very bad habit and easily affected.

that was the past, obviously i dont do so now.
for now,
i have developed the dont-care-if-your-phone-is-alive-or-dead attitude.
to the extend, i will totally forget about my handphone and leave it home.

enough of that,
just a reminder "dont be a frequent sms-er", i just dont like the idea of that.
& the best person to rely, is always yourself.

just today, i felt sick and indeed fallen sick.
more of a throat infection and lead to slight fever, making me feeling really listless, which add up to my moodless mood.
sometime, i really think mood & health are intact, they fall ill together.

have to recover soon and i am going for my friendly match this monday :)

by the way, remember me writing in my "TO-DO LIST",
one of which is to appreciate people around me,
i did it and dont know if it was right now cause nothing seem right.
worse of all, i dont know how to put it across.

i have to really say:
time and time again,
you make me ponder really hard what kind of person you are?
& i tried not to be affect by human perception, judging you only the way you make me feel but i felt that i still dont know who you are.

just put yourself in my shoe, and you will know how it feels.

ok, bring a stop to this as well.
dont feel like mentioning it anymore, might really ignore from now onwards.
i am still searching for a right way/answer to this complex case, since feeling is involved.

but, one thing for sure is when i decide on something,
i will stand firm my decision despite anything, be it a misunderstanding or whatever so.

randomly, a video of some really old school's song that my friend used to cheer me up. *thanks !


愛我的人和我愛的人

enjoy the song and to everyone out there who need it.
tell yourself "TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY WITH YOU BEING A STRONGER SELF".

"never underestimate how fast one can change and recover."

p.s. if a person is easily affected by you, it means something.

xoxo.